Well, as Yogi Berra said, it’s Déjà vu… all over again. Here again. He told me I had to come. Try not to talk too much. I don’t know. Seems kind of petty to me. Everything is such a big deal these days.
He says that it is a big deal. So, I am here. Once again, a tempest in a teapot. Where did all these rules come from?
Another oversized stuffy conference room. Surrounded by lawyers… young lawyers. Couple of civilians… hard to tell which is which. Where did all these women come from? This is not even a courtroom. There is no jury of my peers. Not even a judge. Just a bunch of little judges.
I try to explain this latest one. The new secretary did not work out. Not my fault. I am a trial lawyer. I don’t do filing. Not my job. Her job. But now, her fault is my fault. Her mistake, my mistake. An unforced error if anything. No harm no foul. I’m a trial lawyer. Not a secretary. I try cases. Anybody in this room ever tried a case? My lawyer has. It sure would help if he said something. What’s up with him? I always thought he was overrated. This room is large and it is very lonely.
No one seems to be listening. No eye contact. Lots of scribbling on their note pads. Not even yellow legal pads. iPads. iPads. Never had one. Never will.
What is the complaint this morning? Seriously, that is a rule violation? What exactly is that person saying?
Do they want me to quit? I’m too old? The Disciplinary Counsel sounds like my daughter. Yeah… well, I’m not moving to Arizona. Arizona… one big parking lot lined with palm trees. Pickleball… for Christ sakes. Pickleball. I track wounded deer through the early winter snow. I don’t play pickleball.
I could use a few friends. Most are gone now. They are the lucky ones. Most of the rest moved to Arizona. Poor bastards.
I have been a trial lawyer for over 50 years. Lyndon Johnson was President when I started. Never voted for him. I liked Goldwater. Trying cases is the only thing I was ever good at. The one true love of my life. At least that’s what my wives told me. All three of them.
I’m still in good shape. Lots of hair. Have I stayed too long? Have I lost a step. Everybody does. It’s not just me. It happened to Tom Brady. Looks like we’re about done here. Don’t know what else to say. This room never warmed up. No friendly faces. My lawyer pats me on the back. Not a reassuring pat. More like a farewell. Adios Amigo.
They all talk about climbing the mountain. Climb the mountain! Reach the summit. “Because it’s there,” said Edmund Hillary. But climbing is the easy part. It’s the coming down that is hard. Every minor misstep potentially fatal.
They sing that there is a Season for everything.
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
But no one sings for a time to quit. No one.
It may be true that there is a time for every season. But Autumn is mostly a wish in North Dakota. And I am long past Autumn. Winter comes without drums and bugles. And now, it has come for me. Hemingway was right. Bad things come in two ways; gradually, and then suddenly.
My daughter says I am the last buffalo on the prairie. Maybe she’s right. Just another relic from another time. I have tried cases all over the State. Probably a dozen or more in Hettinger County. Many times, I have sat beneath that painting waiting for a verdict. I think the artist got it right. There are no more buffalo on the prairie.
They say that the law professor who wrote the seminal treatise on Wills died intestate. Whether accurate or not, it serves as a single glaring example of a myopic and a colossal lack of preparation. For trial lawyers, who spend a lifetime preparing for every little contingency in the courtroom; it is a shocking oversight that is obvious to everyone except the one looking back from the mirror. Failing to prepare for the end of your practice is preparing to fail the people you served all those years, your clients.
Dying with your boots on… propped up against a cabinet full of clients is not noble. It is not a dueling scar that has been earned with grace and dignity through a lifetime of courtroom battles. It is a blemish. Solo practitioners, because of their singular practice and isolation, forget to heed the warning signs gathering at the end of the day. Their years of meticulous pre-trial preparation should also include preparation for when the light begins to fade. And at last, when the lights are turned off and the office door is securely latched, your clients and your profession will still deserve your very best. That very best includes detailed plans for a graceful exit.
Trial lawyers never think the clock strikes twelve. Trial work feeds your soul. It makes time stand still. It whispers in your ear that you are forever young. The work is intoxicating, even addicting. It is hard to give it up. It is hard to let go. And the search for the off-ramp is often pock-marked with unforced and unintentional missteps. There is no rule of forgiveness in the Code of Professional Responsibility. Forgiveness is not part of the disciplinary process. Solo practitioners need to have a plan before they miss the last off-ramp. For lawyers, missing the off ramp does not come with a happy ending. Unlike the buffalo, there are no paintings of trial lawyers on the Courthouse wall.
This painting hangs in the lobby of the Hettinger County Courthouse. Mott is the County seat of Hettinger County. In 1948, Hettinger County commissioned Marie Weinberger to paint “The Last Buffalo Hunt”. There were no photographs or drawings to reference the depictions contained in the painting. Setting up a studio in her rural living room, Ms. Weinberger relied upon oral histories and stories as the historical basis of her painting. Hettinger County paid her $300.
Special thanks to the following people in Hettinger County for their help and generosity in writing this article:
Marlene Kouba: granddaughter of Marie Weinberger
Kevin Carvell: unofficial historian of Hettinger County
Tracy Kruger: Hettinger County Clerk of Court and Magistrate
Robin Ulrich: Hettinger County Clerk of Court and County Recorder
By: Tom Dickson, Trial Lawyer in Bismarck, North Dakota.
